Spacetime Beam: Speedrun Edition
by Purple Pork Penguin
Summary: Absorbing the SA-X gifted Samus with the often overlooked Spazer Beam. Messing around with it leads to a gain of years lost in the bounty hunter's career...but she chooses to cut down her schedule, anyways.


Spacetime Beam: Speedrun Edition

As the gaseous mass of SR388 bubbled noxiously behind Samus's ship, the bounty hunter fiddled with her newly-reabsorbed abilities from the SA-X. Taking a moment to examine the properties of her old equipment, Samus glanced at the underused Spazer Beam. Wondering how the beam would work with the wide beam enhancement, Samus equipped both, making sure to also disable the wave beam. It wouldn't do to fire directly through some of the internal components of the ship, after all.

Taking care to aim at a reinforced section of plate, Samus's forefinger pressed on the trigger. Normally, a slight tensing of the arm was enough to keep the cannon steady after firing, but this time…

The recoil shook the universe.

* * *

Metroid: Zero Mission—The Staring Contest

Samus's arrival on Criteria was unexpected. A few tense minutes spent analyzing the situation made several facts known to the bounty hunter:

As far as she could tell, it wasn't a hallucination, dream, telepathic prison, or holographic projection. A run-through of her Power Suit systems and Chozo focusing techniques helped with this realization.

The year was 20X5, as a quick transmission to the starship parked in Crateria confirmed. The existence of said starship verified that the mission details matched that of her first mission to destroy Mother Brain.

One detail remained different from said mission. The Power Suit had every upgrade from her last mission to the B.S.L.

As unexpected as time travel was, Samus simply went with the flow. If this mission ended up being true, it might make it into the top three oddest adventures the bounty hunter had ended up on. Up there with fighting the abstract universe-eating crib-decoration and its shadowy pipe-cleaner counterpart with pink-eye, or the time she sublet a Metroid-hunting expedition to an inflatable pink soccer ball…

Mind made up, Samus finally took note of the long line of zoomers trying—and failing—to crawl past her. In a flash of orange, the hunter was off.

The giant worm tore through the ground before making its fierce roar. Blinking rapidly, it gnashed mandibles at the intruding bounty hunter.

* * *

A super missiles summarized why losing a staring contest with the deadliest bounty hunter in the galaxy was not recommended. However, brevity was not enough to win a Pulitzer, no matter how succinct the message.

* * *

Kraid blinked a great deal when Samus showed up in his room, though in the giant lizard's defense, a barrage of missiles rendered that fairly understandable. Still, the first of Mother Brain's guardians found that the same lesson the giant worm had learned applied, even when the bounty hunter cheated a bit.

* * *

Ridley swooped in for a surprise attack on the bounty hunter's back. However, the arm cannon was facing backwards, and the charged blast of plasma-wave-ice energy that tore through the dragon's brain ended the fight abruptly. Perhaps the dragon might recognize that losing a staring when the opponent wasn't even looking at him was technically impossible…

But that point became moot when seventy four successive power bombs removed all scraps of draconic DNA from the premises, not to mention every last shred of the dragon's central nervous system.

* * *

The Brain was having a migraine. Said migraine grew exponentially worse as the bounty hunter tore through her Metroid forces in under two minutes. As the last Zebetite barrier broke, the Brain could hardly process the volley of missiles smashing the glass to shreds…

Trying a trick that worked ever so well with the Core-X's own eyes, Samus sent a pair of missiles into the Brain's eyesocket.

Mother Brain blinked, and the Pirate leader's day went downhill from there.

When the backup copy underneath found itself under assault by the Chozo warrior, the brain could only mutter in unheard psionic screams.

* * *

Making a circuitous route around the continent, Samus set her starship down. A supersonic-space-jump-enhanced leap later lead her over the ruined remains of Tourian and into the Chozodia ruins. A nostalgic fight with a mural granted her the option to restore her old suit's look, as needed, and a few minutes of exploring to Mecha Ridley found the last Pirate leader on the planet receiving an inexpert mecha-cardiac surgery.

Still, as the bounty hunter blasted away in a stolen ship back to her original vehicle, the robot didn't blink…

Except if instant vaporization counted, of course.

As for the Pirate frigates attempting to leave orbit…well, Samus hardly batted an eye at shooting plasma-wave beams right to their rather temperamental reactor cores.

Mission complete!

* * *

Metroid Prime 2: Echoes—Here be Sequence Breaking

The group of Luminoth preparing to make the perilous trek for the Sky Temple keys steadied their breathing…

Only to see an orange flare as a new starship landed in the midst of the temple grounds. Trading apprehensive glances, the Luminoth warriors made their way to the landing site, stopping short of the armored figure.

While the warrior's physiology clearly differed from Chozo anatomy, the armor's Chozo origin was not lost on the assembled group. Hoping that their star-distant allies had sent aid, they found their hopes assured by the hunter's promise.

Just a few items to collect for their newfound ally…

Though the uploaded schematics for a light suit, of all things, was greatly surprising, they agreed to work on it…

When most of the keys made their way to Luminoth hands, the Light Suit was completed and relinquished to the Chozo warrior. A few minutes later found the hunter making her way up the beam of light, even as the Luminoth forces defended the portal site.

Ten minutes later, the Dark copy of Aether sputtered out of existence, with a handful of warriors standing in the Temple Grounds to bear witness to a new dawn for the Luminoth species…allied with the legacy of the Chozo.

Mission complete!

* * *

Metroid Prime—Let's Not Be PEDantic

Using the funds from her Zero Mission, Samus made a prototype PED suit. The R and D had been pricey, but the research had better pay off…

A quick scavenger hunt later, the Metroid Prime found itself collapsing in a puddle of goo, courtesy of PED enhanced blasts powered by the Metroid's own non-self puddles. Not taking the time to watch, Samus speedboosted out of the unstable cavern, leaving the creature to dissolve into an inert mass of fluid.

Mission complete!

* * *

Metroid Prime Hunters—You can't spell Preparation without Prep…wait, that's an awful title &328928789239#2 *23$# (649)(!23

A few more missions found enough funds for Samus to purchase functional—if not entirely regulated—copies of the Judicator, Imperialist, and Battle Hammer. A few more…inquiries…let to the acquisition of the Shock Coil from a seedy Federation research post, the Magmaul from a biological weapons facility, and the Volt Driver from a similar installation.

The Alimbic Cluster found itself host to yet another scavenger hunt, the greatest—if a bit derivative—of their defenses falling prey to overwhelming firepower.

Gorea—not yet prepared for an escape—found a fully-loaded bounty hunter very much ready for a showdown. Well…

Mission complete!

And if the bounty hunter…borrowed…the Alimbic Cannon using automated towing ships and anti-grav tech hired at no small expense, well, the Alimbic essence lacked the means, motive, or opportunity to complain.

* * *

Metroid 2: Samus Returns: Returning again...

Samus had discovered a fascinating side-effect of the spacetime beam: she retained her Metroid DNA and powers. A test on some organic crystal and…

The Queen Metroid never found out who stole its precious incubating successor away, but as it roared its fury, a flash of transdimensional energy flickered over the planet, silencing its cries.

Mission…complete?

* * *

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption—The Second-Third Time's the Charm!

Samus's intel on the coordinates of a Pirate homeworld kept the Galactic Federation quite busy, though the leadership of the Pirate High Command left much to be desired in terms of defensive preparations. Without Phazon weapons, Ridley, Dark Samus, or Leviathans…

Of course, neither Federation or Pirates noticed Samus warping a giant Alimbic Cannon to a distant corner of the universe, curtesy of Samus's extensive databanks and Luminoth wormhole research. And when planet SR388 payed back the living planet's voracious appetite by giving it far too much to chew on…the resulting explosion might have sent chunks of extragalactic abominations in all manners of directions.

At least, if Samus didn't then teleport the resulting mess back to the infinity void…then connected said coordinates with a dying star—falling into a black hole.

Samus tried not to hold a grudge, but even she had to admit the whole mess proved rather cathartic.

* * *

Metroid Prime Federation Force, Super Metroid, Other M, and Fusion: Extra Credit?

AKA Samus ended up taking a vacation. Elysia was beautiful at this time of year…

Outside of space-time, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Rosalina, Hylia, Naga, Arceus, and a host of other cosmic entities watched the ensuing chaos.

"Well, that almost makes it into the top 3 most messed up timelines in Nintendo…" mused the baritone of the disembodied glove.

To their credit, Hylia and Naga had the composure to only slightly blush, while Arceus kind of shrugged its golden spokes in a somewhat nonchalant gesture.


End file.
